


Moving Forward

by bmw4fh1017



Series: After the Winter Soldier [18]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Mentions of Avengers Infinity War, Random Flashbacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 17:22:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20839229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bmw4fh1017/pseuds/bmw4fh1017
Summary: Steve had given up the shield two years earlier.When given the chance to go back to being a hero, Steve isn't one to back down from a fight.But what will Bucky do in the meantime?





	Moving Forward

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, you can tell how long it's been since I've posted a story from that horrible summary. oof.  
So it's been over a month. Again... oof.
> 
> But I guess that's what happens when you try to write like three stories at once. 
> 
> This story takes place sometime in fall of 2020.
> 
> I hope you guys like this one as much as I do.

Fall 2020

Bucky heard a phone vibrate on the coffee table. He dove down from the couch, only to find a blank screen. He pressed the power button and was greeted by his background picture of Steve and Tessa— with no notifications.

“Sorry, that was my phone,” Sam apologized.

Bucky, still kneeling on the floor, glared up at Sam who was comfortably on the couch.

“It’s just an email. And no need to give me those murder eyes. If I hear something before you do, which I won’t, I won’t keep it from you.”

Bucky sighed and climbed back onto the couch, “Why do you even get notifications for emails anyway?”

“Well up until now, I’ve had no reason not to. But the current threat of death by Winter Soldier may be enough to change that.”

“I’m not gonna kill you,” Bucky assured.

“I know you won’t. You haven’t shown any murderous tendencies since leaving Hydra. Just trying to defuse the mood a little. I can tell you’re on edge.”

“Really? You can?” Bucky quipped sarcastically, shoving his face in his hands.

“I’m serious, man. You being stressed won’t help anyone. Not me, not you, not Tessa. And it certainly won’t make Steve come home quicker.”

“I need to stress. It’s a defense mechanism. It helps me cope,” Bucky mumbled into his hands.

“It may be a way of coping, but it’s not healthy, man. Go for a run, punch something at the gym, anything! If it’s not for your sake, do it for Tessa. You don’t want her to see you bottle all your stress up and think it’s normal.”

Bucky momentarily lifted his face from his hands, “You sound like a shrink.”

“I worked with vets back in DC. I’ve heard every excuse in the book.”

“Oh yeah,” Bucky muttered, picking up his phone from the coffee table. He decided to check his messages. Maybe Steve was texting him and he just wasn’t getting notifications.

But no. His most recent text was from an hour and a half ago, and Bucky had already read it about a dozen times.

_I’ll be home soon, Buck._

But when was soon? And where was he when he sent this text?

“Do you want my advice, dude?” Sam asked.

“Y’know, Sam, I don’t. I appreciate the moral support but it’s your fault Steve’s not here so I kinda hate you right now.”

Sam looked like he was about to start eleven different sentences but decided against them all and settled back into the couch, adjusting where the sling on his left arm rubbed against his neck.

The Falcon had been injured on a mission four days earlier. And, unlike Steve and Bucky, he was lacking the serum and was forced to heal at the pace of a regular human. When he was called for a mission two days ago, Steve jumped at the opportunity and volunteered. This marked his first outing as Cap since retiring and his first since Tessa was born.

Bucky hadn’t stopped him. Wasn’t sure if anything could.

Bucky heard Tessa call out for him, from where she had been sleeping in her crib, and went to grab her. Despite what Sam had implied, Bucky did his best to be in a good mood in front of his daughter. If she got fussy with him, it’s not like she could be handed off to her other daddy.

“I’ll take her,” Sam suggested.

Bucky nodded, placing Tessa on Sam’s lap where she immediately started to pull on his injured arm.

Bucky collapsed back on the couch, “God I hate waiting.”

“Steve’s gone out on other missions before,” Sam pointed out, “I know I was usually with him, but you never seemed this upset. Whatever’s bothering you must go deeper than just waiting.”

Bucky sighed. He wanted to argue, but he couldn’t. Sam was right. God, he hated when Sam was right. It had been a while since just waiting was hard.

Bucky was used to being stressed without Steve. There had been a time in their lives when he dreaded every time Steve left the apartment. Some may call this separation anxiety, but who could blame him?

Steve spent the first 25 years of his life sick. But, of course, he was willing to fight pretty much every bully in all of Brooklyn.

On the one-year anniversary of Sarah Rogers’ death, Bucky knew he should have gone out with Steve. Steve was carelessly reckless on his best days. But his complete unawareness that day was bound to get him in trouble.

Though Bucky knew Steve wouldn’t react well to being hovered over. So what else could he have done but let Steve take the ten-minute walk to and from the pharmacy alone.

He knew not to worry too much. Steve was nineteen-years-old and could handle himself. Well, not in a fight…

Bucky did manage to hold it together until twenty minutes came and went without Steve. He tried to rationalize why it could be taking so long. Mr. Neumann, the pharmacist, was full of stories and hard to walk away from. Mrs. Boyle, the sweet old lady who lived above them, had been a nurse with Steve’s mom and was always trying to load the boys up with groceries. Conversations with her were never less than five minutes long. Or maybe he ran into Bucky’s family. They lived a street away and never gave up an opportunity to check up on him and Steve without being too obvious.

But Steve was better at walking away from conversations than he was. Bucky was the talker. A ten-minute conversation for Bucky was a two-minute conversation for Steve.

Bucky had reserved himself to the couch when the door flung open. His worries had been multiplied when he noticed Steve’s ripped jacket and the blood dripping from his nose.

But, at the end of the day, Bucky couldn’t’ve helped but be relieved. As long as Steve was with him, he could make sure both of them were safe.

This time was worse than ’37, Bucky decided. Back before Steve’s time as Captain America had been so much easier. Steve’s nose hadn’t even been broken and his jacket had been easy to patch up.

Bullies in Brooklyn he could handle. But these gods, aliens, robots, and even Hydra was new territory and Bucky wasn’t sure if he could save Steve from these threats.

There was a knock on the door. Sam and Bucky immediately looked at each other. Steve wouldn’t knock, would he? Maybe he lost his key, wouldn’t be the first time.

Bucky tentatively made his way to the front door. Opening it revealed Natasha who bounded into the apartment right over to Sam and took the baby from his lap.

“How’s my маленький капитан?” Nat asked her.

Tessa giggled excitedly. She loved being Auntie Nat’s маленький капитан, her little captain.

“So…” Nat turned to the door where Bucky had spoken up.

“What?” Nat asked, looking at the boys, who were both looking back expectedly.

“Where’s Steve?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t know,” she responded, “Do _you_ know where Steve is?”

“I can’t believe we’re going through this,” Bucky collapsed back onto the couch. He looked to Sam, “I thought you said she was on the mission with Steve.”

“I dunno, man. That’s what I was told,” Sam shrugged.

“I was switched to help Barton,” Natasha brought up, “I figured Steve and Tony have enough brain power to complete one mission on their own.”

Bucky stared at her wide-eyed, “You left my husband alone with the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz!?” he demanded.

“Well technically Tony has a heart,” Nat corrected.

“Oh yeah!” Sam exclaimed, “That arc reactor counts, right?”

“Has to,” Nat agreed.

“So I don’t know where Steve is and I haven’t heard from him. And now I learn that he’s with Iron Man? Someone with a communicator built into his suit?”

“Well didn’t you get a text from him earlier? Maybe he told you more than you think he did,” Sam suggested.

“Here, read this!” Bucky shoved his phone in Sam’s face, “What do you think it means?”

“Well, I think it means he’ll be home soon… Buck.”

A thousand snarky remarks ran through Bucky’s head but he remained silent: his heart just wasn’t in it.

That text from Steve was two hours old at this point. He knew the quinjet took longer than that to get home, especially if the mission was out of the country. And it’s not like they could just park the jet at Avengers tower. That didn’t exist anymore. So the jet would land at the compound upstate and Steve would have to drive back home. Bucky wondered if Steve had taken the motorcycle. He hadn’t even bothered to check.

But that was beside the point. Steve always got in touch with Bucky on the way home from a mission. Only once was he unable to send a quick _coming home_ message. And that had been during the war.

Bucky had sat alone at the bar. It wasn’t that large of a place. It sat in a village on the Swiss side of the Switzerland-Austria border. He could hear the Howling Commandos loudly chattering in the corner, but he couldn’t bring himself to join them. Instead he ordered his fifth whiskey of the night. The bartender gave him a worried look that Bucky ignored— he didn’t feel the least bit tipsy.

He sensed he wasn’t alone and looked to his left where Peggy slipped onto the seat next to him.

“How are you, Sergeant?” she asked quietly.

“M’fine,” Bucky mumbled into his glass.

Peggy was nice. An exceptionally smart woman whom both he and Steve respected. Which was why Bucky gave her the same response he would’ve given Steve— even though it was a complete lie.

“You’re lying.” Damn! He knew she was smart, “You don’t have to. I know you miss him,” She leaned closer and whispered, “He told me about you two.”

Bucky nodded wordlessly. Both he and Steve agreed to tell Peggy about their relationship. Bucky wasn’t sure why, but it had been Steve’s idea and he wasn’t questioning it.

“I miss him,” Bucky confessed, his voice barely a whisper.

“He hasn’t been gone long,” Peggy pointed out. And she was right. Because of course she was.

“But he’s in a Hydra facility,” Bucky had insisted, taking a swig from of his liquor.

“Like the one he found you in… He did pretty fine then.”

Bucky had wanted to argue that he wasn’t with Steve this time. Steve was all alone behind enemy lines to gather intel. What if Schmidt found him? What if _Zola_ found him?

The obvious answer was that Steve was gonna be fine. He was tall and muscly now. The only part of that scrawny kid from Brooklyn was his determination and grit.

Though that didn’t stop Bucky from fiddling with the transponder.

Stark had tried to dissuade Steve from taking a transponder. They were mainly used so someone could drop in and pick Steve up after a mission. But this time he was going to meet them in the pub— that was the plan.

Steve, however, wanted to have one even if it was used as a way to let everyone know he was okay.

Howard agreed but had walked away muttering about limited supplies and not ruining this one.

Bucky wanted more than anything for his transponder to tell him Steve was okay. There was also a part of him hoping Steve had forgotten to activate his. But he knew that wouldn’t happen. Even without his super soldier memory Steve would never forget Bucky.

“I’m being silly, aren’t I?” Bucky downed the rest of his drink before announcing, “Steve is gonna walk right through that door completely unharmed!”

Peggy looked at him like he was losing it. Bucky _felt_ like he was losing it. He folded his arms on the bar and lay his head on them. Peggy rubbed his back.

Twenty minutes later, Bucky’s inner monologue had only consisted of two words on repeat: _he’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead_.

When the door to the pub creaked open, he optimistically lifted his head. And he only believed his eyes when Dum Dum announced, “Hey, look! The captain’s back!”

The rest of the Commandos surrounded Steve. Bucky had picked up his transponder, wondering why no signal had been received. Peggy answered his question by poking him in the side and pointing over to Steve; who had just tossed an incredulous Stark another bullet-hole-ridden transponder.

While everyone was celebrating with drinks at the bar, Steve pulled Bucky over to the corner where no one was watching. A quick kiss was placed to Bucky’s forehead before he was enveloped in those large arms for a hug he was beginning to get used to.

“You’re back,” Bucky stated casually.

“Always,” was Steve’s response.

But now they were in a new century with a different Stark with new communication equipment. If Steve wasn’t able to use his own phone to text Bucky, there were always other ways to tell him what was going on. Mainly FRIDAY who was installed in Stark’s suit. If the suit wasn’t working… well Bucky didn’t even want to think about it.

Bucky looked over to Nat and Sam. They were making a fuss over Tessa, who was obviously enjoying the attention. Bucky smiled softly and picked up his phone to look at his pictures.

Most of the recent ones were of Steve and Tessa. He scrolled through to 2018. In April of that year were the pictures Steve sent him on his way to Wakanda after his mission in Scotland— he had texted Bucky at least a dozen times from the jet.

Mainly they were updates. He had saved Vision and Wanda from aliens. Bruce had returned home. And everyone was coming to Wakanda to stop Thanos from getting the mind stone.

But it was more than that. Pictures of them all in the jet so Bucky knew everyone was okay. Animals running through the African landscape. And, of course, the Wakandan palace to let Bucky know they had arrived.

After Thanos, Steve had no hesitations on letting Sam be the new Captain America. Before leaving for Scotland, though, Steve had been thinking something else.

“How do I look?” Steve had exited their room, fiddling with the belt on his Cap suit.

Thumbs caressed bearded cheeks, “Beautiful,” Bucky responded.

Steve smiled and looked down at the faded stripes and missing star, “I mean it’s worn out, but it’ll do.” He looked back up at Bucky, “I missed this.”

“You did.” Bucky stated.

Steve nodded carefully. “I love spending time with you, Buck. You gotta know that. But I missed Captain America. I missed _helping_.”

“Are you gonna go back to the Avengers?” Bucky asked.

“Well no. I still won’t touch the Accords with a ten-foot-pole. But maybe I’ll join Sam and Nat more often.”

Bucky fixed a stray piece of hair which had fallen in Steve’s face.

He had wanted nothing more than to tell Steve to stay home— but he couldn’t. Even if he had the nerves to say as much, would Steve listen? If the past was any indicator, then no.

Bucky and Steve had known each other for nearly a century, and Bucky found it difficult to see anyone other than that scrappy Brooklyn kid when looking into those sea-blue eyes.

“We’ll talk after this after the mission, okay” Bucky promised, “Pretty sure T’Challa’s expecting me in Wakanda. Can’t leave the king waiting.”

Steve had nodded in agreement.

Of course that conversation never happened. Thanos knocked all the courage out of Steve. And in that time since, they’d started a family.

And Bucky thought Steve had kissed Captain America goodbye. Until Sam got hurt and he eagerly jumped at the chance to replace his replacement.

But this was good for Steve, right?” He had been a little stir crazy lately. Tessa had been sleeping through the night and suddenly his intel position for the Avengers wasn’t enough.

What was enough, then? Was Steve gonna need another Thanos level catastrophe to bring him back to reality again? And what threat existed in the universe bigger than Thanos? Bucky didn’t want to find out.

The jingle of keys outside the door was just loud enough to gather everyone’s attention. Steve, like Nat, went right over to Tessa when the door was opened. She was elated as Steve threw her up into his arms. Her smile stayed bright even as she was set back on Sam’s lap.

Steve made his way over to his husband. Bucky held Steve at arm’s length, assessing everything from red boots to wind swept hair— so he had taken the motorcycle.

Other than an already healing cut on his chin, he seemed fine.

“I’m home,” Steve smiled weakly.

Bucky nodded, he blinked away the tears and pulled Steve into a hug. The lack of communication would be addressed later.

“I’m never letting you leave again,” Bucky muttered into Steve’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure what Steve would reply with; but he had to try, had to let Steve know what he was thinking.

“I won’t,” Steve responded, kissing Bucky’s cheek before pulling away, “I’m here to stay.”

**Author's Note:**

> So we aren't outright told what year Sarah Rogers died. But in Civil War, Steve states that he's been on his own since he was 18 (1936). It only makes sense that that was the year his mom died. Which is why the first flashback took place in 1937.
> 
> All my knowledge on the transponder is explained in that fondue scene from the first Cap movie.
> 
> And the last flashback comes from how my version of infinity war plays out. Cap goes to Scotland to help Sam, Nat, Wanda and Vision. Bucky goes to Wakanda. Cap's uniform is just as ratty as the one in Infinity War. Not from wear and tear, just from not getting a new one since 2016. 
> 
> And the ending is kinda crap but at this point I had to finish the damn story and haven't figured out a better ending.
> 
> I hope that covers any confusing aspects of this story. Sometimes I forget which parts of the timeline have been put in a story vs. what's going on in my head. oh well
> 
> I hope to post some more stories soon. And, as always, thanks for reading


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